What A Beautiful Mess

We have been sick around here for 3 weeks and counting now. It has been terrible and although I know that the sickness is to blame for most of Bronson's fussiness at the dinner table (seriously, swallowing was hard for me to do without crying and I am 36), the urge to make him eat was enormous after our pediatrician announced that he had lost weight since our last visit,2 months ago.

Given our track record with babies who can't keep the weight on, I immediately started to dream up ways of getting calories in to this child of mine before our next visit in January. I haven't fully recovered from the CF scare with Rowan. Maybe I never will. Maybe I will forever be the crazy mother who fears going to the doctor's office just as much as her kids do because she *knows* the worst news is just around the corner. It doesn't matter that I know that my reaction is completely irrational. 

Anyway, prior to the visit to the doctor I had concluded that Bronson just didn't like most of the stuff we have tried to get him to eat to date. He gagged and vomited just about anything that wasn't fruit up at each meal. It was a crying fit extravaganza and made dinner very unpleasant (and messy). I honestly thought we had a picky eater and I wanted to let him guide us where food was concerned even though he was nursing far too much and getting up too often at night. He was probably hungry. But it could have been his teeth. It could have been the illness. It could have been anything and that's why all of this is so freakin' hard. 


But I had to do something. So, once I knew that his throat was better (we both have eye and ear infections and so I figured he probably was suffering from the same sore throat too.), I skipped over the pureed fruit and veggie mix that he barfs up and went straight to full blown solids. I gave him a dry mixture of rice, pork and cabbage bits that I thought he would feed himself.

I know, it doesn't make sense. What would possess me to go from making my kid puke on liquid puree to little bits of meat and stinky vegetable right? Call it a hunch. Or, maybe an educated guess since my decision to just get er' done came after I discovered out of desperation that he LOVES yogurt and grated cheese (I figured they were harmless and I would just clean the barf up if I had to). 


Dinner was quiet and fun for the first time in a very long time. He sat there and fed himself the entire time and laughed. There was some minor gagging. But nothing like what would happen with the mush. And there was absolutely zero puke. There was a mess alright. But it was a beautiful mess that I will gratefully accept as a sign that things are looking up around here.


Sometimes, a little scare at the doctor's office is a good thing. I guess.